The St. Croix Chronicles Continues

Alright so my day got better while waiting on line to board my second flight. I started talking to this young veteran about his new family and baby daughter, we laughed about the unpredictable New York winter. Then the driver I've used previously, sent a new person to pick me up from the airport, and she was a doll! She lived in New Jersey for 25 years and was telling me how much she didn't miss shoveling her car out from the snow to then have the plow truck pile the snow right back.We chatted about food and gardening, one of my main objectives for living in a tropical place. We exchanged info and she said she would help me grow the pineapples she has. I asked to stop at the bakery because I knew my refrigerator was intentionally emptied before I travelled. I only left carefully labeled and packaged items in the freezer. The bakeries over here on the island, sell food, as in hot dinner meal food for breakfast.

Eventhough, you all know I am vegan 90% of the time, I still love saltfish ( The Caribbean name) or codfish ( The Panamanian name) or Bacalao ( The Spanish name) I love all versions of it and when I am in St Croix I look forward to having my day of saltfish indulgence. I left the bakery with enough for two meals, saltfish saute with onions in a gravy, a saltfish fritter, saltfish pate', a pate' is similar to an empanada, filled with saltfish, a veggie pate', cooked up green vegetables, called "chop chop", and a boiled egg because I still like them ocassionally and enjoy taking off the shell. I turned my back to the "titi bread" which are small loaves of freshly baked bread, and the turnovers because I already know the relationship I have with baked goods. They don't have to do anything more than they were doing in that bakery, just keep coming close to me and placing kisses on my nose. So I got my food quickly and ran out. I would not give in to the seduction of that pineapple turnover with the flaky crust! I arrived home, thanked the driver, we looked at where we will plant, confirmed contact info to begin our gardening, said our goodbyes and I opened my door and smiled.

I love the way I decorated my space. It's very minimalistic but eclectic to suit my taste.

I rearranged furniture before I left and purposefully had everything clean and in order, to support my mood when I return. I ripped open the bag and start biting the saltfish pate' and smiling some more, I'm thanking God about the 85 degree weather, my space, the options I have been afforded, I read the comments from my Facebook post and it always warms my heart. The serious friends who offer words to help shift my perspective, the friends who can identify with my quirks and the friends who understand my off humor, especially when I'm having a bad day.

I go to the fridge for water and the fridge is dark and there is a slight smell. I flip the switch in the kitchen, no light. Uuuugggh no electricity!!! My phone is on 5%. I used my external battery while traveling. I know I paid my bill. I even think I over paid it. I hurry and call customer service and the sweet representative says your service isn't disconnected. Then she asked, " You want Broadband VI right?" And it clicks. I had been paying Broadband which is the internet, everytime the bill came, thinking it was WAPA! WAPA is the light bill. They have been sending their bill to a PO BOX I no longer use. This makes me eat the saltfish pate' then start on the saltfish fritter. Oh nooo! Note to self when you move to a foreign place memorize the names of the utility providers.

Now the race begins trying to get a WAPA rep on the line before my phone dies. Yeah right. At least a 20 minute hold. Do you want a call back to save your place? Yes .. uh no.. hang up...uh can't call Keith he is working it's just 9:15 in the morning ... call Milani... talk fast... tried to explain to her to .. see account online.. please troubleshoot... blah blah... account.. number.... what Mommy?.... my phone is gonna die Mooks.. so... what is your address.. to look it up online....to set it up... I sent you a copy of an old bill.. with the info... I have to hang up...... I'm trying to preserve a little juice in the battery... bye!

I now devour the "chop chop" and saute' saltfish in pure frustration and active troubleshooting mode. Why is it so hard to peel this doggone boiled eggggg??!!! Uuughh most of the white part is gone!!!

Breathe Renee. Go upstairs and ask if they have an external power charger. I go upstairs,⅚ they tell me they are glad to see me.. No they don't have an external charger they just use their car if needed.

Go back downstairs... call Milani again... I couldn't get through Mommy on the login... blah blah blah... Can I call you back Mommy?... I remember my adult daughter works from home. I am interrupting her work morning with my shenanigans.....

I'm so sorry... please go back to work... I forgot.. talk to you later.Click. Phone dies. External battery dead. Breathe Renee. You have a class to teach online at 7pm. Ok you are going to have to go upstairs and ASK to charge your phone because your power is off. Step step step.....up step up step... explain situation. "Oooohhh you didn' t pay WAaaaa PAaaaa....You did TINK it was Broadbandddd... ohhhh.

( Why do I feel as if I am not being believed? Because I am famous for creating my own internal narrative on what someone else is thinking.) Anyway I plug in my phone upstairs. Go back downstairs eat the veggie pate' I was going to save for dinner and start chugging a gallon of water straight from the bottle like it's a 40 ounce bottle of beer the dudes on the street corner drink.

I decide to implement self care, the things that make me happy. A long shower always help plus it will give the phone time to charge. I'm trying to sing a melody of worship songs in the shower but seem to go back to my version of, "It's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate", by the Persuaders. I don't know why that song, my own inner conflict. Finish shower, then go upstairs, get phone, which is only at 12%, call WAPA, on hold waiting so long, doze off. Speak to rep told they haven' t had a payment since February. I'm not even going to explain my confusion because if I were her, I would not believe me either. I pay the overdue amount, knowing this will guarantee an inquisition from Keith, "The Budget Police". Uuugghh! She explains they would send the receipt and future bills to my email. It could take 2 hours or 72 hours for service to return. It could come back on or they may have to send someone out. Either way I just have to wait and see . TTTANK YOU FOR CALLINN WAPAAAA.

Self care Renee. My first method of self soothing is sleep. The scripture says, "He gives his beloved sweet sleep". Oh my gosh this place is so hottt! I am sweating and can' t turn on the fan because ....there is no electricity... I start singing,

"There' s a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza" You have to know the song to understand the logic. RIP Mr. Belafonte. I'm so sweaty now I dont' t even feel like I took a shower. Step step ..step...Up step... up step... up step plug in phone and lap top. Back in my space, say to God this is out of my hands you know best. Please handle it. I have a class at 7pm.

I go to sleep trying to position myself to receive some type of breeze in 85 degree weather. Wake up 4 hours later drenched in sweat, now with a headache from either the salt in the saltfish or gluten from the pate' crust and flip the switch ......Ahhhhhh Ahhhhhh... LET THERE BE LIGHT!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!.

Moral of the story.. I don't know.. roll with it. Whatever IT is.. roll with it. Do what you can.. then roll with it . Don't lose sleep, monitor self sabotaging tendencies, replace with things that will aid in remaining rational versus irrational. Also sometimes we are not smiling, not always right, not picture perfect, may not know the outcome, may have to wait. In fact may be ugly inside and out, recognize it. Then give all of it, the good, the bad, the ugly, the greedy, the cold and the sweaty to God. Social media and our cameras have filters but real life doesn't. The Lord can handle the unfiltered true version of ourselves.

Time to teach my storytelling class and get rid of this centipede and huge waterbug.

Tomorrow I will face throwing away all my carefully wrapped frozen items and clean out the awful stench from the freezer.

Thank you for sharing my journey with me.