The Ferry

Ok so here is the deal, don't rush to go on a ferry thinking you're doing something going to the top, outside level. Wait and see where most people gravitate towards. If you see only white people on the outside deck and the one black woman is accompanied by a white man, take your tail to the inside steady lower bunk. You know white people, God bless 'em, are just more adventurous than we are. That sister with the Caucasian boo, is swirled up and brain washed behind those shades and wants to be on the lower deck too, especially after the rush of wind and water that just splashed in her face and on her $300 lace front weave. You hear?? Me on the other hand, I am not embarrassed to call the deck hands over to hold me as I wobble and scream and clutch them while the boat rocks back and forth. They help me walk as they say in their Caribbean accent, "Let go of de seat! Hold me arm. Let go of de seat!!! Come onnnnn!!!!" I finally let go of the seat as I have a deckhand on each arm. The challenge is how all three of us are going to fit down the steps when I won't let one go. One finally pried my hand free as we get to the steps and I tightly hold on to this other stranger looking at me almost with fear in his eyes probably because of my kung fu grip, K95 mask, weird hair and foggy shades. I then grab the railing and muster up a trot- run-shuffle with my knee, still in recovery, and go from the top deck down the steps and take my big butt, jeans now sagging and I could care less about the plumber butt crack that's probably showing and go to the lower level where I should have been in the first place. The light bulb that maybe this wasn't the best choice is especially after calling Dols when I first sat down, smiling as the ferry gently meandered from the dock and she said, " Where are you????!!! On the top deck? Outside??!! No way! Not me! You are making me very nervous up there Renee. "No Ma," I smugly chuckled, "It's cool up here I'm good. Uuuuhhh NOO! SHE WAS RIGHT. I WAS DEAD WRONG! I'm at the bottom level now feeling like I'm glad I didn't have breakfast because I'm queasy and I don't even get seasick. My hair is all rolled up and shrunken from heat and getting splashed and Adell, the lady picking me up to take me to the apartment, who I have never met, is going to think I am waiting to meet Harriet Tubman, because I look like a runaway slave from the big house, not from the fields, with my bling black lives matter t shirt and wet matted afro!! I need peppermint tea for my stomach, a serious pedicure so I can take off these hot behind sneakers and a brush and comb to try and pull this hair into two cornrows, a ponytail, a puff, something other than what it is. About 13 minutes to go until I am off this ferry!! Lord have mercy!!!! I made it off the ferry thank you my Lord and Savior and Adell was right there to pick me up. She and I, me and she start talking like two girlfriends under the dryer at the beauty shop. Approaching the car.... Me: Adell? Her: Renee? Me: Yes! Her: I was just texting you. Me: Perfect timing. Thank you so much. Her: It's OK A man at the port assists me with my luggage into her car. Her: ( In her strong Caribbean accent) You can sit in de front seat. (In my matching accent that always seems to travel with me and emerge in every region I land upon. But it is most at home among my West Indian peops. My kids on the other hand hate it. But they are not here so me and my talk is free to be!) Me: No I good back here. Lord that ferry was rough Her: No Missus not me and no ferry me a vomit allll over de place. No chile not me at all!! Me: I wish I knew. Nobody warned me about de ferry. I need some tea to calm my stomach...

She laughs as we continue to cackle like reunited friends. 12/2/21